For a Lifetime
by Galadriel Caskett
Summary: [MaLoki] How long is forever? LokiMayu, in a sad way. Postanime.


Authoress : Best downed with a slow, mournful song. "Eternal Snow", if you have it.

**VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA** _  
_

_How long has it been since I fell in love with you?_

He stands before her grave, a bouquet of white lilacs held lightly in his hands.

_My feelings have only grown since then_

As his gaze drifts over the well-worn stone - a surface he knows only too well - he recalls the day they exchanged their wedding vows.

_Did you ever notice this love I bear?_

She had been so happy that day; so radiant in the light of her joy. So gloriously **_alive_**.

_Even though I've never once told you as much_

Yet, that night, their first night together, she had extracted a promise from him.

_Like snow, it's only been quietly_

As she lay beneath him, she had reached up and told him, her voice soft and serene, to return to Asgard when she was gone.

_Continuing to fall  
_

Her eyes were sad, but true, and she was smiling. Not with fear, not with resignation, but with love.

_Hold me tight; If I had to feel this way_

_I wouldn't have wanted to know_

_How loving someone feels_

When he tried to tell her that it was far too early to worry about such things, she had simply pressed a finger gently to his lips, sealing in the words that both of them knew would be a lie. Then, she had pulled him down to her, and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, buried her face in his neck.

_I love you; The tears won't stop_

As he kissed her, he felt tears collecting in his own eyes. Sweet tears, angry tears. And he had crushed her to him, as though by holding her tightly enough, he could keep out the time which was so mercilessly stealing her away.

_If it had to be like this,_

Neither one of them spoke of that promise after that night.

_I shouldn't have met you at all_

They had had no children; she wasn't one of his destined, and as such was not fated to bear his children. But they had lived together, faced the passage of years. He had stayed by her side, even during the time when she would fret that she was getting old and ugly, and he would laugh and kiss her, before reassuring her that she was as enchanting as ever. And while she would complain that he was lying, there was always a glow of happiness in her eyes.

_Till when shall I yearn for you?_

Years. Such a short time.

_My sigh mists upon the window pane_

She had looked just as beautiful when she lay on their bed, her breathing weak and labored. As he held her hand, she smiled at him. And this time, she reminded him of that promise, made so many nights ago.

When he shook his head in mute denial, she had pressed her finger, now so frail, against his lips. And still smiling, she had told him that she loved him, one last final time, before the precious light that was her fled from her eyes.

He broke.

_Can a lighted candle no longer melt my trembling heart?_

As they lowered her lovely, lifeless body into the earth, he had raged. Raged against the gods and the world and the very laws of the universe. Raged because anger was the only emotion he dared allow himself. Raged with such terrible fury, that even his own children hesitated to approach him.

_Hold me tight; Strong enough to break me_

He had screamed his vengeance against the skies for days, till his voice gave way under the duress. Then, he had collapsed, and wept. Bitterly, with the gaping loss and pain he had never wanted to feel.

_I miss you; Each time I think of you_

It wasn't enough.

It would never be enough.

_If there is a snow that falls for all eternity_

_Will it bury this feeling I have for you?_

Even now, when he can look upon her grave without turning away, the piercing anguish still churns within him. And something deep in his very soul tells him that the pain will never go away.

_Hold me tight; If I had to feel this way_

_I wouldn't have wanted to know_

_How loving someone feels_

As he places the flowers before the headstone, he wonders whether, if he could change it so that he had never met her, he would.

_I love you; These feelings welling in my chest_

_I want to scream them to the winter sky_

_I want to meet you right now_

And he already knows the answer.

_I love you._

**VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA**

Disclaimer : Matantei Loki Ragnarok does not belong to me. Neither does "Eternal Snow".

Authoress : I actually liked this piece. It's probably, well, damned... brief, but whenever I read this over I feel all depressed and melancholy. I'm not sure if I managed to bring that feeling into this fic, though...

The lyrics? They're personally translated from the original Japanese. I also took some, umm, liberties, to make it flow better. -twiddles her fingers- They're pretty close to the original though, I promise.

Loved it? Hated it? Made you feel like slapping a random pedestrian? That little purple button at the bottom beckons...


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